Zaya, an Australian of 37 years and Uruguayan roots, It has opened like a flower in the spring, and overwhelming generosity has offered us the best aroma. A scent that smells of life, to dreams, tenderness and future.
He was born the wrong sex and she was called Gonzalo. At the age of 9 years suffered sexual abuse. They were moments of terror and threats that lived without you to share it with anyone. He then thought that there was no space for her and that her story could destroy his family, so I opted for silence. His major challenge was dealing simultaneously with that uncomfortable family situation and their search of identity.
She recalled an anecdote that lived at the 12 years when sitting in the back of a combi took consciousness that lived in a body that it did not belong to you. In his heart he felt as one woman and everything happened the reverse of what she wanted. Why her wearing boy clothes? In his own words he describes it: “I was able to accept my body at that moment, had no other, It was a body that could make things, so he appreciated what I had".
However, She did not know that the hardest part was coming. Adolescence was marked by discrimination, in the school is always isolated, perhaps to protect themselves from the insults and humiliation of his companions, at that stage, they used to call you “Queer“. Worse still it was the behavior of some teachers, that you were promoting this same behavior from the cruelty and ignorance.
Go to the public baths was embarrassing. The guys saw it as something strange, effeminate and for girls was a guy, so it did not fit anywhere. “A teacher told me that I was gay because I wanted to play with the girls. Marked me because it was not what I wanted to be”.
The situation became almost unbearable and the 35 years, While working in Malaysia Airlines at Sydney Airport, He took the decision to start living your own life, being who ever was, a woman trapped in a man's body.
Talk to the doctors of the airport was the first step and hence psychologists, therapies and a long road that still runs, that includes hormone treatment. The process of transformation gender takes between 4 and 5 years, and this entails changing the identity at work, friends, family and society, starting with the name.
“I called me Gonzalo When I started with the transition process, so I decided to call me Gonza for a time while he was a name that I liked most. In Australia, Gonza has no association with male or female as opposed to in South America, so I was taking it well. But when you get to Uruguay, one day I went out to dance and already in full transformation felt like a woman. A friend I started tatarear a song and the sound sounded to Zaya, then I discovered that this name comes from Tibet and means Victorious women. This is how I decided that would be my name.”
Zaya It recognizes that the most complicated part came from the side of his family. It is always hard to let go of the person they knew, to pronounce pronouns for your new identity and start calling you with a different name. Therefore decided to send letters to all explaining what was happening to him and his decision to start with the process of transition. Even, used a link so that they could inform about changes that would happen. Most reacted positively, but there were also some who stayed on the road, they did not know how to take it and walked away.
To motivate herself takes refuge in his profession as a musician, It fills pages with poems that elevate your soul and practice yoga. “Life is beautiful and I deserve to be happy like everyone else”.
Just a year ago that he returned to Montevideo, Uruguay, where continues its process of transition and personal healing. There he met to Jaime, his current partner, a man also transgender that it makes her laugh all the time and with whom he has found true love and complicity that deserves.
Zaya He tells us that his dream is to explain their story to the world through her new song "girl flower”, which was composed and sung by herself. “Flower girl” tells his story of personal growth. Whose song in MP3 attached to the end of the article.
Zaya looks like a flirtatious woman and sensual, She herself is felt only by the fact of having lived half of his life as a man. His wish would be that it will recall by be "that woman that danced with freedom".
Says that our society has a lot to learn regarding people transgender, you need education and more compassion to become this world where everyone would like to live. It demands more aid from Governments, support programmes for people who have to deal with these situations, and implementation of educational plans in schools, “so that children know other ways of living and see it normally. This would save much suffering ’.
Defines a Australia as a country conservative with regard to the different trends sex, that is much to leave went ahead with this topic. All this way Zaya He has learned that love transcends, the person you are going more beyond the genitals or how you dress. He has learned to be her best friend, to accept and love themselves more.
Today sees in the mirror sees a woman beautiful full of dreams and curiosity, wanting to live a full life. While acknowledging at the same time his great challenge: “My biggest challenge is confidence, to return to trusting that everything will be OK. I have to think that I am now living a healthy life, with dignity and respect. It has cost me believe what I am making.”
Answer to the question who am I? It may not always be easy. For some people it makes in a question complicated, because fear it to face the facts. When you don't know who you are, nor where are, or you know the path you want to follow in life, anxiety, the discomfort and fear can take control over you. This is what is known as an existential crisis, In addition to cause psychological disorders if the situation is not resolved correctly.
The existential crisis is a crisis of identity, and the solution is to reconnect with one's self. It is not that we are lost, It is that we have to remember who we are. Therefore, know who you are makes you stronger and, Despite the adversities that may arise in your life, helps you to overcome them. We say that it is necessary to follow beside oneself despite the difficulties.
Living in coherence is the answer to a full life. That your feelings, your thoughts and your actions go in the same direction, It is what keeps us in the circle of excellence.
The alignment of these pillars makes us genuine people, individuals with identity It gives meaning to our existence. Know who we are is not enough, you have to live the experience that means. Being authentic is not satisfied with what you are, but being the person you want to be no matter what you have to do to get it to. Because while you're closer who become, most authentic you are. That is to live in coherence.
Most of the unhappiness of human, they are based on a lifetime of inconsistency.
Zaya, you inspire me!
Pilar Cárdenas López
"Flower girl", the reunion of an identity
The work of the artist
The artist Alejandra Sieder created the play pictorial “The victory of Zaya” based on the life of Barroso Zaya. In the words of the artist:
Zaya is a woman with infinite qualities. A woman who has achieved the ideal of being. A be kind, whose look peaceful and serene grabs you and makes you want to know it even more. Zaya has undergone a personal process of deep inner knowing. She has had to contend with the essence of who is and the way how it was created. It has been a struggle to understand, accept and achieve your own change.
She is a heroine in itself because even having been born as Gonzalo, his soul was born as Zaya. In this dilemma, he spent his childhood, adolescence and already input the maturity. With perseverance and support from some managed to become the Phoenix that is now: An amazing woman. Thank you for allowing me to enter a little in your life and for being an inspiration in mine.